Written by Elle Asiedu<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chef Hani Firin, Senior Sous Chef at Cambridge Mill in Cambridge, Ontario, on second chances, sober clarity, and leading kitchens with kindness.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Hani Firin didn\u2019t come to kitchens the usual way. \u201cI started out in a different direction\u2014going to school for social work,\u201d she says. \u201cI talked to my parents in high school and was like, \u2018What should I be?\u2019 I loved cooking and I loved basketball. My parents\u2014Muslim, Somali, hardcore, strict\u2014were like, \u2018Those are not realistic goals.\u2019 So, I shaped my goals to what they wanted.\u201d The fit never landed. \u201cI found myself not being happy, not being complete,\u201d she says. \u201cI got sober, I was real with myself, I came out. Being Muslim, Black, lesbian, a woman\u2014it\u2019s intense<\/em>. Therapy helped. Self-care helped. I started asking, \u2018Where did I feel the most connected?\u2019 \u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n The answer kept leading back to a kitchen table in her childhood. \u201cMy mom and grandmother always cooked together,\u201d Hani says. \u201cI\u2019d be in the kitchen with my grandmother, just staring at what she was doing. She\u2019d cook for a family of ten or twelve with the most minimal ingredients, and you could see that complete look in her eyes\u2014bringing happiness to everyone, breaking bread. That felt good to me. I wanted to go back to that feeling.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She gave herself a true reset. \u201cI finished getting sober, finished working on me. Then I found myself at culinary school\u2014a one-year certificate, an introduction to knife skills, techniques, mother sauces, discipline. My teacher was a woman, so gender didn\u2019t come into play. That\u2019s when I really learned that what you put in is what you get out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m always honest, transparent, vulnerable. The chef asked when I could start. I said, tomorrow\u2014or today. That\u2019s the difference: I was ready right there and then, because I wanted it more than anyone.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Instead of jumping straight into a high-pressure brigade, Hani took a job at a vegan shop\u2014\u201cI was happy and bubbly, ready to learn the basics: vegan, vegetarian, dietary restrictions\u201d\u2014while juggling classes, meetings, and life in a sober-living house shared with two other women. Her newfound passion for structure led her to apply at Cambridge Mill in 2014 as a cook. That interview changed everything. \u201cI\u2019m always honest, transparent, vulnerable,\u201d Hani says. \u201cThe chef asked when I could start. I said, tomorrow\u2014or today. That\u2019s the difference: I was ready right there and then, because I wanted it more than anyone. This was my second chance at life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n From there she moved forward fast. \u201cI didn\u2019t want to stay stagnant. Always keep learning, always keep growing,\u201d she says. She went from plant-based counters to competitive Canadian, French-driven kitchens with Italian and Japanese touches. \u201cIt became second nature\u2014like grabbing a glass of water,\u201d she laughs. \u201cI almost shocked myself.\u201d Within months she was wearing stripes. \u201cI was already junior sous maybe six months in. The company was growing, and the Elora Mill Hotel & Spa was opening. Everyone wanted to transfer to open it. I thought, \u2018Great\u2014Chef de Cuisine might open up here for me.\u2019 \u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I didn\u2019t fit the hetero cis-male models in front of me, so I wanted to create something for myself. I had to research, find chefs I wanted to be like, and learn from them.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n A classic French cuisine mentor set a high bar. \u201cBoom, boom, boom\u2014everybody fits the model; mental health didn\u2019t exist,\u201d she recalls. \u201cKitchens were male dominated. You just had to bring your chin up and go for it. Therapy was always in the background\u2014I\u2019d unload there and then come to work ready. I had my village around me.\u201d She learned what fit and what didn\u2019t. \u201cI didn\u2019t fit the hetero cis-male models in front of me, so I wanted to create something for myself. I had to research, find chefs I wanted to be like, and learn from them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n When leadership asked her to join the opening team at Elora Mill, she went. \u201cWhen your boss sits you down and says, \u2018This would be a great opportunity for you,\u2019 you go,\u201d she says. Four months later, the doors were open. From there, she moved to The Pearle Hotel\u2019s opening as an events chef. \u201cTotally different ballgame,\u201d she says. \u201cBut they\u2019d invested in training me with banquet and fine-dining chefs. Where most people learn things in five years, I was learning it in two. Once I lock in, I just go for it\u2014I had tunnel vision on my passion.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then came a risk she\u2019d promised herself she would take: New York. \u201cI told Pearle Hotel I needed time to check out some things, stage in the States,\u201d she says. Her partner came with her\u2014leaving steady jobs behind\u2014and together they spent about eight months in the city, living off their savings. \u201cWe took a risk. We learned. We grew,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They landed in Brooklyn, where Hani worked with Chef Marc St. Jacques of Bar B\u00eate, helping open his new restaurant, Ruthie\u2019s, and staging at Bar Gotham and Grill. \u201cIt was cutthroat,\u201d she says. \u201cWe\u2019d wake up at six to hit the market for the food we\u2019d cook that night. I was living in SoHo, taking the train every day, learning how to cook again as a line cook. It was so humbling.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She still lights up at the memory of watching Chef Victoria Blamey command a silent, white-jacketed brigade. \u201cShe walked in, and it was silent. I thought, I want to be like that\u2014but I don\u2019t want people to fear me.\u201d Even in short stints, her palate stood out. \u201cThey\u2019d say, \u2018make sure Hani tries every dish before it goes out.\u2019 That was really cool.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Back in Ontario, she joined The Bruce Hotel in Stratford as Chef de Cuisine under Jonathan Gushue. \u201cI\u2019d never worked in a theatre town before. I wanted a house, to be in nature, with a backyard for my three dogs,\u201d she smiles. The Bruce was fast-paced\u2014\u201cget them in, get them out\u201d\u2014and the team earned Five Diamond recognition. It was a proud moment, but the environment wasn\u2019t without friction. \u201cIt was very old-school,\u201d she recalls. \u201cSuper traditional, very backwards in a lot of ways.\u201d Navigating that taught her how to manage within systems she didn\u2019t believe in, and when it was time to walk away. \u201cIt showed me there are always other spaces out there\u2014you don\u2019t have to sign up for all of them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n After about a year, she started thinking about what was next. \u201cI was out to dinner with the GM, and he asked what I was doing next. I told him I was going to check out Toronto\u2014maybe for a month. I knew it would be cutthroat. Michelin was coming in, and I didn\u2019t want to be in a place where I\u2019d have to fight to prove myself again.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She tested the waters in Toronto as Michelin attention heated up\u2014staging at Alder and spending time with the Alo group\u2014then chose family. \u201cMy dad had his second heart attack. I needed to be closer,\u201d she says. A dinner conversation with GM Alex Kastner led her back to where she\u2019d started: Cambridge Mill. \u201cThe only position open was senior sous. I humbled myself. Titles are nothing. I\u2019m still going to be a great leader. As long as the money\u2019s there and the time\u2019s there, it is what it is.\u201d What drew her in was the team. \u201cThey\u2019re great human beings, with so much potential. Cooks today catch things faster than we did. People say they\u2019re soft\u2014but no. They\u2019re quicker, and they learn and develop faster.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Her leadership philosophy grew out of being the outlier. \u201cI came into kitchens at twenty-six, working with people who had been there since age seventeen,\u201d she says. \u201cI read, I self-taught. And I promised myself I\u2019d never manage people like they were robots.\u201d She meets cooks where they are. \u201cI\u2019m not loud when I walk into a room, but you can see I\u2019m here. I move in silence, and I know when to support. I\u2019ve never treated people the same, because people are not the same. Nature versus nurture, culture, mental health\u2014there\u2019s so much going on. Eye contact matters. Being actually there<\/em> matters. People tell me years later, \u2018You changed my life\u2019. My rule is simple: I leave things better than I found them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kindness is not softness in Hani\u2019s book; it\u2019s courage. \u201cLeading with kindness goes a long way,\u201d she says. \u201cIt\u2019s not a weakness\u2014it\u2019s courageous.\u201d That ethos shapes the food, too. She doesn\u2019t market her cuisine as Somali, but her upbringing shows up in how she runs a kitchen. \u201cFlavours are the same everywhere\u2014salt, acid, balance,\u201d she says. \u201cWhat I bring from Somali life is sustainability. Food scarcity is real where I\u2019m from. I brought food-waste sheets to Cambridge Mill. We started tracking, trimming down waste, cycling leftovers into features or staff meals. My feature game is amazing,\u201d she grins. \u201cWe use what we have.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Her sense of agency comes from a childhood in motion. \u201cI was born in Somalia,\u201d she says. \u201cBecause of the war, my grandparents adopted me when my parents left to study. They moved me to Binghamton, New York. I didn\u2019t know my parents existed\u2014I met them at eleven and moved to Toronto.\u201d Her grandparents\u2019 lessons were blunt and loving: education is power; your colour will not hold you back; keep knocking; don\u2019t give up. \u201cIt\u2019s a lot of layers,\u201d she says gently. \u201cBut all of that made me who I am.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Her parents, too, came to see things differently. \u201cAt first, they didn\u2019t think this was a real career,\u201d she says. \u201cThey wanted something stable\u2014doctor, lawyer, social worker. But once they saw what I was building, how I was leading, they became my biggest supporters. Now my dad tells everyone, \u2018That\u2019s my daughter, the chef.\u2019 He sees how far I\u2019ve come. It took time, but they\u2019re proud.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The industry, of course, tests resolve. Hani shares one story she hopes younger women entering the hospitality industry will remember. She\u2019d been promised a promotion\u2014a verbal agreement she took in good faith. \u201cI was already doing the job,\u201d she says. \u201cRunning the kitchen, leading the team, proving myself every day.\u201d When she finally asked for the title and pay to match, it spiralled into a tense, closed-door boardroom meeting. \u201cIt felt like psychological warfare,\u201d she recalls. \u201cI came in buttoned up in my whites, sat down with my notes\u2014pros and cons, facts over feelings. Facts always win.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n But professionalism wasn\u2019t enough to shift the tone. \u201cThe chef had an outburst and stormed out,\u201d she says. \u201cI stayed calm.\u201d Afterward, she went to the general manager\u2014a woman she\u2019d trusted to advocate for her. \u201cShe apologized, said she\u2019d look into the role, but by then I knew it wasn\u2019t healthy anymore. I\u2019d already done the job, and respect wasn\u2019t reciprocated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Hani left on her own terms, trained her replacement, and walked away. The lesson stayed with her: \u201cGet it in writing, try the position first, and always come correct\u2014organized, professional. Don\u2019t let anyone take your power.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n If she sounds intentional, it\u2019s because she is. \u201cMy choices are me-centric,\u201d she allows. \u201cThat\u2019s not selfish\u2014it\u2019s knowing my energy and where I can grow. Every gig is an investment in myself.\u201d She also names what sustained her: \u201cI focused on similarities instead of differences. I needed them to get where I had to go, but they needed me, too. I created space for my voice and my experience. People respected my integrity and authenticity. It was challenging. A lot of people don\u2019t know how it feels to be in a space like that. But I found my way.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Know your value. Lead with kindness. Bring facts, not just feelings. And when the room doesn\u2019t fit, you\u2019re allowed to leave and find the one that does.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Today, Hani is back at Cambridge Mill, pouring that way into a new generation. She\u2019s also just launched \u2018It\u2019s Hani<\/em>: The Podcast\u2019<\/em>\u2014conversations about hospitality and \u201ccool people\u201d\u2014because she believes stories can change an industry. And she\u2019s staying close to home\u2014close to her parents in Waterloo, to her brothers, to the partner who moved to New York on savings and faith. \u201cWe took a risk. We learned. We grew,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ask what she wants most for Black women coming up in kitchens and she doesn\u2019t hesitate. \u201cKnow your value,\u201d she says. \u201cLead with kindness. Bring facts, not just feelings. And when the room doesn\u2019t fit, you\u2019re allowed to leave and find the one that does.\u201d Then she smiles, the way someone does when they\u2019ve earned every step. \u201cAlways leave it better than you found it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n 1. Being kind doesn\u2019t mean being quiet.<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Kindness is not compliance\u2014it\u2019s a choice to lead with empathy and strength. It means holding people accountable without breaking them down. Speak up, set your standards, and stand firm. Compassion and confidence can coexist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. Bring receipts, not excuses.<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019ve done the work, own it. Preparation and proof speak louder than ego. Facts win over feelings, always. Walk into every room ready\u2014organized, steady, and impossible to overlook.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3. What you put in is what you get out.<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Your effort becomes your legacy. Every kitchen, every shift, every person you mentor should reflect the care you invested. Raise the bar. Build others up. Leave every space stronger than you found it.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Listen to It\u2019s Hani the Podcast<\/em> on Spotify<\/a> or YouTube<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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\n\n\n\n3 Pieces of Advice:<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n